After 4 years, we’re saying goodbye to Productive Introvert Community.

But don’t worry, this isn’t a total goodbye - it’s more of an evolution - because we’re continuing as the Exploring Introvert.

In today’s letter, I’ll tell you a bit more about who the Exploring Introvert is for. I’ll also tell you a bit about my own past and why writing these letters is so important to me. Perhaps you’ll better understand why I’m so grateful for each and every one of you who take the time to read them ❤️

Introducing to you 🧭 the Exploring Introvert.

Highlights

Full summary

My first days in Amsterdam

I was standing in a bakery. I hadn’t been in Amsterdam for very long. I asked for a “vleesbroodje” (a type of meat filled pastry) and pointed at it through the glass display. “Vleesboordje??” the lady said, puzzled. “We don’t have that.” I left the bakery confused and empty handed. I later learned that what I knew as “vleesbroodje” in my hometown was called “saucijzenbroodje” (sausage bread) in the Netherlands and it goes by no other name.

Welcome to my new home.

I’d never really traveled abroad before moving from Suriname, South America to the Netherlands, Europe. I’d never stepped foot in an airplane before packing up my entire life into a suitcase to take the 9 hour flight to my new home. In reality, I’d barely ever gone beyond the familiar path between my home, my school, and the few shops that my mother regularly visited in our hometown.

And now, here I was: 18, fresh out of high school and no idea how to survive in a country that was so different from what I was used to.

Even though I had spoken Dutch my entire life, I was complimented that I had such a good grasp on the language. While the different use of words in my dialect led to some profound misunderstandings (the vleesbroodje-situation was a minor one). More painfully, I was immediately addressed in English by teachers and later also colleagues who I spoke with quite regularly (in Dutch).

It wasn’t until years later that I realized just how rough the culture shock had been.

The first few years, there was no room for that. It was simply survival. Working as hard as I could because I quite frankly had a “disadvantage”. As an outsider and a minority with no network, some things simply weren’t going to be available to me at that time. On top of that, I was criticized for being “too quiet”, I was urged to “be more assertive” and to “show myself more” while at the same time cautioned for being “too open about my struggles”.

It was a confusing time.

The reason why I write in English

My letters to you have always been in English. English is not my first language and I learned it from American tv shows growing up. I remember writing the English words phonetically at first “Joe no wat ij mien?” because I didn’t know any spelling. I’m still not fully confident with my spelling and make mistakes all the time.

People regularly ask me why I don’t write in Dutch, seeing that it is my first language and I live in the Netherlands. After publishing my very first ebook in Dutch years ago, things didn’t feel quite right. Despite the struggles with spelling, I’d always felt more comfortable expressing myself in English than in Dutch.

But there was more than that… I thought long and hard about it and decided that I would write mainly in English.

The reason was that I wanted to reach the “outsiders” in Dutch society. The immigrants and expats, the people without the networks. I knew many of them when I worked in science. Hard working but always feeling slightly lost, like I did. Where our Dutch colleagues would ask their parents to file their taxes, we struggled to even fill in simple forms. No one to ask, no parents to go home to on the weekends.

This isn’t a rip on Dutch society, although it is a tough one. It’s simply observing the situation that you have to deal with when you relocate outside of your familiar society. Had I stayed in my hometown, I’d have a similar advantage: access to my parent’s network and intimate knowledge of the inner workings of that specific society that I could use to my advantage.

You simply don’t have that (at first) when you relocate to another place.

So, I decided that I wanted to be able to support those who didn’t have many support systems. Even more, I wanted to support introverts who also seem to have a similar “disadvantage” in modern society.

Little did I know that this would become much bigger. With readers and podcast listeners from all over the world now: from the US and UK to Australia, Singapore, India and Argentina as well as the Netherlands and Suriname.

Introducing 🧭 the Exploring Introvert

Even though the name is new, these letters have in a sense always been for exploring introverts. From the start, I thought of people who felt slightly like outsiders in their society (i.e. immigrants and expats and also introverts in a way). I now understand that exploring is about much more than relocating and traveling. It’s about exploration in the broadest sense of the word.

You see, the people in this community are above all curious. You love to read, to observe, and learn. Learning new skills is important, so is learning about yourself. Despite the inner critic's demands, you put in effort to expand your horizon, even if it’s simply by escaping in a good book.

And that’s beautiful.

You’re always looking for ways to make your life and other people’s lives better. You support others, even when you yourself could use some support. You share your sandwich, even when it’s the last one you have and you’re also kind of hungry. Despite realizing that sometimes you may be giving at the expense of yourself, you still believe that by pouring into others the world becomes a better place.

And that’s magical.

I feel like we’re all exploring introverts in our own way. And that makes the world a better place.

Welcome, Exploring Introvert insider

I want to welcome you to 🧭 the Exploring Introvert.

Read more from this blog to explore topics for introverts. How to navigate (and eventually thrive!) in a world where you currently may feel slightly like an outsider. How to support and pour into the people and the causes you care about without it being at the expense of yourself. How to continue to explore and stay curious the way only introverts do.

And in the process make the world a better place.

Want to become a true 🧭 Exploring Introvert insider and get exclusive access to behind the scenes and insider series? Then I invite you to sign up for my weekly letters.

About the author

Mariella Franker, PhD is a former molecular biologist, a mom, and also an introvert. She now teaches exploring introverts how to create no-discipline habits so that they have more energy and improve focus without routines that feel forced or only last 2 weeks.

She's a certified Natural Advantage® coach, associate coach at De Succesvolle Introvert, and founder and head coach at The Franker Message. She has been featured in places such Quietly Impactful Summit, Making Money Online podcast, and MarieTV.

After relocating from South America to Europe when she was 18, she now lives in the Netherlands with her husband and son. On most days, you'll find her working in her little office cabin or puttering around her home or garden.

Read related blogs

Read most popular blogs